Before we get started, let me share a little background. I’m the Hippy-ist person in my circle of friends, but I like to shower and wear deodorant. I call myself a Hippy because I have always been curious about natural health. But, choosing a home birth wasn’t part of my culture growing up…
I remember as a young girl pretending to be pregnant. My cousins and I would stuff a baby doll under our shirts, and fake the birth process with our 6 and 8 year old imaginations. As I grew up, I heard stories and came to understand that it was a painful process, but not like in the movies. No, I watched my Mom in early to mid-labor with my sister when I was 7. Her water broke without screams. She dressed and my Aunt took her to the hospital as she grew uncomfortable to the point of grunt-talking.
With my first pregnancy, I had a normal, un-medicated hospital birth. It wasn’t as scary as I had expected, but definitely more intense that anything I had ever experienced. It was positive enough to make me want a home birth the next time. I knew I could do it, and felt empowered by my first birth.
While I was confident in the choice, I wasn’t enthusiastically telling everyone. I have family who this day believe a C-Section is the best way to deliver a baby. I simply didn’t tell those people. As far as I knew, I would be the first in my family to have a home birth, even compared to my Grandmothers (two of my Great-Grandmother’s had hospital births, I suspect at least one of them did it naturally at home). So, it wasn’t like the decision didn’t come without reservation. It did, in the questions that my Dad had or other family who were worried about my health and the baby’s welfare. I kept answers simple. And held onto that feeling of empowerment. It helped that my husband was behind it, and his parents are advocates since his Mother is a Doula and had home births with her kids.
The Home Birth…
My due date had passed 3 days earlier. And, since nothing seemed like it was going to happen, I spent the afternoon at my cousin’s 1st Birthday party. It was a big, extended family celebration. My grandma and cousins from Oregon came. The house was full and we all spilled out into the yard. Kids were jumping on the trampoline. My Uncle suggested I join them to start labor, but I declined. Instead, I talked, ate and enjoyed the day. We went home and I promptly decided to nap with our almost two-year-old.
The Man needed to fix something on the house, so he and my brother headed to the hardware store. My brother’s truck was needed for the job. As I lie on the bed, I felt my water break, so I called The Man and told him he should probably head home. By the time I had changed clothes and called my Mother-In-Law/Doula, the guys came running upstairs to check on me.
My brother’s face was surprised as he asked me a little bit breathless, “Are you really in labor? You aren’t screaming?” It was cute, and I explained that I wasn’t in active labor yet, but it was just starting. There was plenty of time for screaming.
By then it was around 6pm, so The Man started dinner, and I called the Midwife and my Mom to update them on my progress. I had to pause as times with my Mom on the phone to breath through a contraction. They were getting closer. Dinner smelled amazing, but it was a heavy baked dish, so instead I ate a bowl of cereal and had a glass of juice. I knew that if I waited any longer to eat, I would be in too much pain.
Talking with my Doula/MIL between contractions.
Standing through a contraction with pressure on my lower back.
After about 2 hours, the pain and pressure on my lower back increased. The contractions slowed down, and I decided I had to keep going. So, I walked up and down the 2 floors of stairs in our Townhouse. I had to pause between floors to breath, and both my brother and The Man took turns putting pressure on my lower back. My Doula, Gerrie, (aka Mother-in-law) and Father-in-law showed up before my stair laps. She was able to help show them how to put pressure on my lower back. They were amazing. I lost count after the 15th lap of stairs, but it worked. My labor kept progressing and got really intense.
We rented a labor tub that filled up our son’s entire bedroom floor. We got it ready, and the Midwife and her assistant showed up. I was checked before getting in and was about 5/6 cm dilated. The intensity of the pain made my hips feel like they were going to break apart. The water was wonderful – it alleviated the pain and helped me relax. The contractions grew stronger and I finally felt like I had to get out and feel grounded on a a hard surface for the birth. I was 8cm. The rest of the labor flew by.
My sister-in-law, Jennifer was snapping pictures the whole time, and just after the tub, I asked her to stop. I needed to focus and the flash was distracting. She jumped in and helped fetch things and get towels warmed.
The room was lit only by a bedside lamp, and the mellow lighting was just what I needed. I squatted on the floor at first to push, but the baby’s heart beat didn’t like it. So, I ended up lying on my side on the bed to push her out. It felt like forever as I could feel the pressure increasing. I knew I was close, and had to keep myself focused on breathing and not pushing.
It was an amazing experience mentally since I had done it before, it wasn’t scary. But, I felt so vulnerable and overwhelmed at the task. The intensity made me doubt for a moment that I could do this. I knew I could, and kept bringing myself back to the thought that millions of women have done this before me, I could do it too. I was close, and just had to breathe.
Just born!
After what seemed like forever (about 30 min of pushing), Iris was born. She was a big baby, 9lbs 1 ounce. Her placenta was large too. It felt so good to have them out of me, like a watermelon was removed from my abdomen. I had a natural high. The feeling of elation filled me, and I was so happy to hold my girl. My husband, Mother-in-law, Sister-in-law, Brother, Father-in-law all got to hold her and see her in her first minutes of life. Granted, the boys except my husband had to wait until I was cleaned up. But, it was truly beautiful to have all of that support through out the 7 hours of labor.
And baby made 4!
Our 22-month-old son was well cared for and kept entertained the whole time. He looked at his new sister, but had no idea how much his life was going to change. He petted her head like she was a kitten, and wasn’t really interested in her until about 3 days later.
The midwife and her assistant came the next day in the evening to check up on us. It was so nice to get examined in the comfort of my own home. They did again 3 days later. I am forever grateful that I was able to have a successful home birth and to have shared it with my family.
Some have asked me about having a house full of people. I wouldn’t have thought to plan it that way earlier, and didn’t plan on having my brother and his girlfriend there, but it worked out perfectly.
If someone had asked by 4 years earlier if I would have had a home birth, I would have said no. It took a lot of research and learning to help me realize my body was capable of giving birth without medication. Our bodies are amazing!
p.s. I know not everyone can have a home birth, and I truly think the best birth is one where you feel the most safe and have the support you need.
p.p.s. Gerrie, my Doula and MIL, is still active in the birth community. She is now in the Spokane area and does Placenta encapsulation too. If you’re on the East side of Washington, I highly recommend her as a Doula and Blessing Way host. More info at Inland Doula Care.
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